LizardLipsLizardi

Regular old phones : (drops on concrete at 50 miles per hour ) *slightly cracks*
Android : (drops on concrete floor) *slightly cracks*
iPhones: (drops on carpet floor) *shatters , self destructs , explodes , falls into another dimension , becomes pregnant*

horrorpeach:

tordles:

what if instead of blood you menstruated confetti

party in my uterus everyone’s invited

x

darrynek:

the nominees are

leonardo dicaprio

leonardo dicaprio

leonardo dicaprio

leonardo dicaprio

leonardo dicaprio

and the winner is *opens envelope*

adele

combusticate:

a new york

time’s

best selling

author

yep

he’s famous

so proper and well behaved

john green everybody.

that’s john green.

davegrohlsfacialhair:

i recommend the creme brulee

i recommend you go away

vvargs:

My banana looks like Matt Smith

hesmybrother-hesadopted:

cityblue30:

no

That is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen.

iwishihadafather:

sharonosbourne:

byrante:

t1r3dofyourbullsh1t:

there are reasons you don’t do the harlem shake

This is the only good harlem shake video on the internet

iM GONNA PISS

I AM FOAMING OUT EVERY ORIFICE OMFG